Survivor Caramoan - Fans vs Favorites: Episode 4

Whoa. Starting right out the gate, back from Tribal Council, Reynold and Eddie, both being bitches. "Let's see how many challenges you win without us." says Eddie. Um...probably about the same amount because you're not exactly winning...anything. Y'all aren't God's gift to Survivor, despite what your mothers might have told you.

Over on the Favorites side...Phillip and Brandon: Two peas in a pod. You both think you're masterminds but everybody else just thinks you cray.

But what the hell do I know? People seem to legitimately appreciate having a name bestowed upon them and get mighty cranky when names are dispensed willy nilly. It's some kind of bizarre Survivor status symbol.

Reward Challenge time! Laura is surprisingly bad at stepping on handheld platforms. She looks like she's playing "The Floor is Lava" or like a cat about to be hucked in some water.

Fans lose, but Shamar doesn't notice. "That's what I'm talking about!" he yells. Yeah man, way to lose. Lose like a champ!

For their reward, the Favorites get a "Filipino Gollum" to show them how to cook food more better. Cochran is kind of jealous of his superior lady skills. lols

Back at Camp Mopey, Shamar says they need to start bringing him rice every day. WTF
AND THEY FUCKING DO IT! Double WTF!

Later...
Youch! Shamar chopped his eyeball up with some sand and gets taken out of the game.
The tribe makes like they're sad, but I don't believe their we'll miss you type words. Y'all were gonna vote his ass off. Don't lie.

Immunity Challenge
Damn...Brandon is very spry running across those floaty platforms.
Everybody else is kind of crap at it.
Laura's kind of bad at everything.
Reynold makes up a huge amount of time, but Phillip pulls it out.
Favorites are victorious!

The Fan alliance of wusses is starting to splinter. Laura's dragging you down, dudes. Take her out.

Tribal Counci, Reynold plays the Hidden Immunity Idol. It's kind of wasted. Laura gets ousted easily because they finally wised up. Good move, Fans. She was dragging you down.

Survivor Caramoan - Fans vs Favorites: Episode 3

Back from tribal council, Allie has been voted out, and Reynold is all butt hurt that he wasn't as alpha as he once thought. Don't feel bad. Just know that you're controlling nothing, bro.

The evolution of Shamar in this episode went something like this:
Shamar is out his damn mind.
Nah...
But Shamar is hella angry.
Nah...
Shamar is just loud, yeah... He loud.
Damn, Shamar has seen some shit.
Shamar, I may not like you much, but I don't want to see you quit.
Also, Reynold, quit being a bitch.

Malcolm finds the immunity idol while looking for it with Corinne.
Andrea's a pretty smart cookie, and sees they're acting chummy. I'm rooting for Malcolm though, so kindly hush your face, Andrea.

Side note: I don't think the immunity idol hiders are trying that hard this season. They're probably depressed because no one bothers waiting for their clever clues anymore. Their spirits have been crushed, no doubt.

What's with all these immunity challenges ending in some kind of carnival game?
Toss the bag in the hole
Throw the hoop on the stick
Hook the ring on the knob

Yes, I said knob. It's a funny word. Point is, Favorites win. Boosh.

Newsflash: Shamar and Reynold have to fight again after the challenge. You're like a broken record, dudes. I want you both gone.
Again...Reynold, quit being a bitch.

Odd tribal council strategy in play. The plan is to split the vote: 3 votes for Hope and 3 votes Eddie, while knowing there's going to be a voting block of 3 voting for Shamar.
It's too early to start getting rid of strong people, so when push came to shove, Hope should have known she was in trouble if everything went as planned and there was a tie/revote.
Should have listened to Shamar, man. Throw a vote toward Eddie, and you would have tipped the vote. Buuuuuut, you also would have been a dirty turncoat, so maybe it's better to go down with the ship, which is what you've chosen.
You never know what alliance you could have finagled into given another 3 days though.

Not too concerned. I'm rooting Favorites all the way, baby. Unless that Favorite is Brandon. Ha! Brandon boosh.

Survivor:Abridged

I've been watching Survivor since the very beginning. I was 15 when it first aired. Back then, I stated that I'd watch Survivor for 30 seasons if that's how long it ran. I was trying to exaggerate for effect, but as Survivor is in the midst of its 26th season, it might actually reach that milestone.

I'll watch it as long as it's on. I got your back, Survivor.

Anyway, I have a habit of letting shows pile up on my DVR, and then I'll just burn through them in one marathon session. This is obnoxious to those around me that watch the same shows and want to talk about said shows as they air. Last season, I did this procrastination dance with Survivor, and after each episode, I'd write an email to my Mom with a bullet pointed list of things that surprised me, what pissed me off, who I liked and didn't like, etc. It was a general recap of what went down that episode. We could then talk about the episode, and there was much rejoicing.

I personally would find such a recap useful if I didn't intend to view the episode or should I have no way to view it. (Some people still have shitty internet, yo. It happens.) Therefore, I'm taking my terse breakdowns to the internets. No one will likely read it, save perhaps my mother...BUT I will have watched the show promptly. I will have written about it, and to the question "Have you watched Survivor yet?", my answer can be an emphatic "YES, gah!". I'm four behind right now, I believe. Ready, set, GO!